In Surfoverwhelming novel published by the brand new left ventricle house, Lynda Dion returns to a painful episode that marked his life and his literary trajectory. A public error, a wave of reactions, a feeling of humiliation … and slowly, a reconstruction by writing.
In 2019, during a round table on grossophobia held in a feminist bookstore, Lynda Dion pronounces a sentence that she would bitterly regret. Awkwardly evoking the attraction of certain black men for voluptuous white women (and vice versa), it uses a racist expression, containing the word in n. The remark, reported by a participant, finds himself exposed on social networks. Summoned to apologize, Dion prefers to withdraw. “I took refuge in a terrier, shameful, humiliated,” she says. The incident, which occurred a few months before the Lieutenant-Duval case, will leave deep traces.
It is from this moment that was born Surfan autofictional account published this fall at Ventricle Gauche, new publishing house founded by Éric Simard. “What is happening at the bookstore is the trigger,” explains the publisher. But Lynda goes elsewhere. This is what I like about this project. »»
Write
Why publicly return to what could have been a relatively confidential incident? “To free myself from humiliation,” says Dion. Because writing here becomes a restorative gesture, a way to exorcise shame – that linked to the event, but also that of a childhood marked by judgments and prejudices.
“Among the people who attended the Round Table on Grossophobia, many of them quickly forgot the incident, can be read in Surf, Perhaps even that for some has not happened at all, the scandal of the racist writer concerns only one handful of people and did not make so much noise, not that I know at the very least, it is now that I am most at risk with this text that I cannot brake, this sentence which does not want to stop, which seeks to tell I do not know what, which fores the raw material to clear the passage, Descendant, whirlwind, vortex, I am sucked in while I would be inspired. ”
This story was not easy to write. “I picked up doubt and I started writing on shame: the shame that I have in relation to this event, but which is also linked to the shame of origins. Dion here addresses the links between internalized racism and family transmission. In particular, she tells the romantic and sexual relationships she has maintained with African men in her twenty, against the tide of the prejudices of those around her. She also returns from a stay in Senegal. Africans have always welcomed her as one of their own, she says.
The book examines his own relationship to racism, his loves spent with African men, the claimed anti -racism in front of his family. “I built my whole identity on anti -racism in front of my family. And there, it came to tell me that I had not finally got out of that. Worse, I, I was inhabited, worse, even if the others around told me “But no, you are not racist, if there is one that is not racist, it’s you.” I still felt guilty. »»
A difficult form
The author admits that at the time, she did not know what a safe space. This whole matter has informed her about several things. In Surfthe narrator tells the events: “The sentence is pronounced, in a very clear way, the writer will have to apologize publicly, the request has been made at the sight of everyone on the Facebook page, and in private, I received an email from the bookstore that I no longer find, which I obviously erased, after having copied-pacored its content somewhere in a file, I also unacheumed. Balle sprayed what I was left of innocence, I had the choice, or I went up to the assault or I was digging a trench to wait for the enemy, the second option seemed to me the safest, the most reasonable, the most convenient, disappear time to make myself forget, I was unable to defend myself, I was demolished, I had no explanation to provide the moment that I was “unmasked”.
Surf is a text hit, tense, written without points. A logorrhea that mimics the urgency to write the author. “This book almost appeared. I have so procrastinated in terms of shape. It begins with a more metatextual, more essayistic text, before choosing a continuous flow, where the narrator doubts, searches, forgets. “I wanted to think about the story impossible, the difficulty, because the narrator is not so reliable. She is looking for, she doesn’t remember … “
Why qualify the novel’s book, when it is directly inspired by his experience? “I installed a narrator who is not reliable. I prefer that we talk about a novel because there is a construction, all in all, which is romantic. I do not dwell on descriptions, I do not tell a story, but there are scenes, a trigger, twists and turns. »»
A publishing house on the fine line
Surf Also mark the birth of Ventricle Left, a house led by Éric Simard, former publisher at Hamac. Since his departure, Dion has felt “editor’s orphan”. She and Simard have woven a relationship of trust over the years. It is this text, more than anything, which has rekindled the desire to edit Simard. “I saw what has happened since 2019, since I stopped. There is fear in all creators, many among publishers. I don’t want to be afraid. »»
He wants to publish texts that stand on the fine line, on the thorny. The other title to be published this fall, Reprisesigned Florence Chadronnet, also explores moral gray areas. Lucid in front of the amount of literary works that are published each year, Ventricle left will only print four titles per year.
Dion, it remains more cautious. Surf is not a plea for freedom of absolute expression. “We have a responsibility when we write too. Me, I wanted to bring a nuanced point of view, and I hope that is what will come out. Sometimes I questioned Éric: “Do you think it’s going to shock? Do you think people will say …?” »»
Has social networks for something in this polarization of debates? Certainly. One, moreover, has not been there for nine years, while the other is discreet. Despite the effects of surfs, waves, storms, on social networks, the publisher persists and signs: “Me, I want everything that is creation, which is of the order of fiction or creation, regains its freedom a little. Because if there is no more freedom, what remains? »»
On the eve of this publication, serenity is not guaranteed. Do you need courage to publish such a book? No doubt a little. Surf Don’t try to provoke, but he stir.
